You know its one of those mornings when you have to force your mouth open to say "Good Morning!" Or, you get frustrated that the office cleaner didn't put your little trash bin exactly where you'd like it under your desk just so you can convineintly throw your tea cup into it without having to position it perfectly... It's that irritating bastard thats creeps into you over night that decides to stick around and make your day difficult...
12 noon - Update.
The Lithium seems to be really kicking in this time. Much more than usual. Actually just when I had doubted its effects it has shown me what it's capable of. Ive had to get up at least 6 times already to go to the bathroom already. Fingers are trembling and feeling dazed. At least I know it's doing something, I'm unsure as to whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. The rpaid thoughts have slowed down which is the Bbst thing but I'm not too much on the talkative side either...
Irritating creeps...
06/06/08
3.30pm
Once again, the agitation begins, and I'm even taking the full dose of Lithicarb ( 2 tablets a day) which I wasn't supposed to start taking until another 2 days. Don't get me wrong I feel the effects of the lithium to some extent during the whole day, but its like when it hits 3 or 3.30 it decides to take a nap and make my final hours at work hell.
A day at work
A day at work…
It's 9:08 am, Monday, I'm absolutely dreading work already. My mind is so slow and I'm really having trouble comprehending what it is I need to be doing. I know Monday’s are always the worst part of the week, but I usually don’t mind them as much and even though I would usually wish Sunday could keep dragging on so I can relax at home I never actually wanted to get the hell out of here so badly. To make things worse we changed our seating arrangements at work so that teams could work closer together, and the spot I have now is isolated from the rest, its like an island, and although when my boss explained to me that I was put here kind of 'on my own' because I work faster and more efficiently that the rest of the guys on the team, and that he needed to keep an eye on them, I have a feeling this move is going to do more damage than boosting my confidence as it is intended to do. Initially I was ok with the move, change is inevitable I told myself, just ride it, enjoy it and look at it from a good perspective. But sitting here, my back is turned to everyone else, in front of me is a wall as opposed to the open space the previous spot had.
I feel edgy with people walking behind me all the time, should I look like I’m doing more work now that I’m sitting here? I feel like the boy in a corner, forced to face the wall and think about the bad thing I've done that resulted in me being punished.
Hmmm, on Friday when the move around was happening, I’d joke to everyone saying I’ve got my own island-desk, and that I'm my own king, my other work mates were kind of envious about the 'special' treatment I seemed to have gotten, especially because I knew about this move-around before they did. Yet I feel like I’m being punished, and as usually my thoughts are overflowing and I can feel the paranoia begin to subside. I just want to go home.
