The routine

I'm due for my first routine check up tomorrow with my psychiatrist. It’s been nearly a month since I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and to be honest I really can’t be bothered going in tomorrow morning. I just think this getting well routine is starting to take over my life too much. I mean I’m not going to deny that I actually have been getting a little better, but the amount of time, finances and energy put into it is just becoming too much.
Blood tests here check ups there, appointments here. My lunch breaks at work consist of me running from clinic to bank to clinic to doctor trying to get things done while I can without anyone at work suspecting a thing leaving me to eat at my desk, scoffing my food down as fast as I can so I can get things done. So tomorrow morning I have to call in work to tell them that I'm either going to be late or not come in at all. Then be charged another medical bill that I don’t have money for – I have a feeling the financial burden itself is going to put me into a depression alone! I can’t keep telling my managers that I can’t make it cause of a doctors appointment or that I feel ill because it’s just going to raise too many questions I don’t want to answer.
To top it off I really didn’t like the way my psych conducted his observations last time, id prefer to see someone else. It just feels like I’m being forced into all these activities that are messing me my normal daily routine – something that drives me mad!